


Responsibility

by Welfycat



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Aliens Made Them Do It, Hurt/Comfort, In Public, M/M, community: hurt/comfort bingo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-13
Updated: 2010-09-13
Packaged: 2017-10-11 19:06:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/115898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Welfycat/pseuds/Welfycat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alien customs leave Major Lorne with a difficult choice that isn't really a choice at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Responsibility

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Hurt/Comfort Bingo, Prompt: Aliens Made Them Do It  
> Content Notes: Non-con/rape, non-consensual bondage, public sex/nudity, brief imprisonment, references to mild claustrophobia. NC-17.

Major Evan Lorne sighed as he wiped sweat from his forehead and looked across the town in the late afternoon sun. His team, plus the botanist Parrish, had been sent to the lush planet of P5J-211 to assess crops for nutritional and trade value after Sheppard’s team had encountered the natives during an off-world market. Personally, Evan thought that Sheppard gave Lorne’s team the assignment because he didn’t want to listen to McKay complain the entire five hours from the Stargate to the village. The forest that covered most of the area around the ‘gate and the village made it completely inaccessible by puddle jumper and Evan was certain that if Parrish stopped to collected one more sample on the way back to the ‘gate their team would be returning minus one scientist.

He turned and held his hand to his forehead, shading his eyes enough to locate Coughlin and Reed on the far side of the square. They had both been quite taken with the welcoming party that had greeted them and had set to work charming two of the local women almost as soon as he had let them roam free. Evan rolled his eyes mostly in amusement; one of the unofficial perks of over night missions was the opportunity to find company other than the couple hundred people stationed on Atlantis. Mostly Evan just looked the other way and hoped that he never had to rescue on of his men from a tryst gone bad; while Sheppard understood the nature of the military, Doctor Weir would likely not be as tolerant.

The sound of raised voices quickly caught Evan’s attention and he scanned to the market area where he had last seen Parrish chatting with farmers while examining grains and fruits. Evan moved to where the stalls were set up, his hand falling to rest on his P-90 as he saw a small group moving away from the center of the town.

“Major!” Parrish shouted.

Evan pulled his gun out of his holster as he caught a glimpse of Parrish, his eyes wide with fear, as he was dragged away. A group of guards circled around Evan before he had the chance to break into a run, their less advanced guns still a potentially deadly threat. A glance back showed Coughlin and Reed similarly surrounded not far from where he had last seen them. In other circumstances Evan would have been impressed with the response time of the guards, which he was certain was quicker than most of the soldiers on Atlantis would have mustered. At the moment he was more concerned with the fact that he could no longer see or hear Parrish, and while he didn’t want harm to come to the man he had extra motivation for getting everyone safely back to Atlantis; Colonel Sheppard was always pissed when teams returned without their scientists. The leader of the council that had greeted them upon their arrival was rapidly approaching, the First leaning in slightly to listen as his advisor spoke enthusiastically.

“I’m sure there’s just been a misunderstanding-” Evan began as the First approached.

“I certainly hope so.” The First stood in front of Evan, towering over him slightly and his hand resting on the hilt of his sword, which had originally seemed purely ceremonial but suddenly seemed far more threatening.

“Cultural differences sometimes lead to unforeseen problems, but I’m sure whatever Parrish has done we can talk it over and he can be released. No need for weapons.” Evan nodded, trying to make his words a statement rather than a question or a request.

The First frowned and Evan noticed that the advisor had folded his arms and was openly glaring at Lorne. “It’s not what the child has done, but what you have not. We were told that you were responsible for all those you brought with you.”

Evan stared, wondering what exactly he was being blamed for. “Yes, I’m responsible for the members of my team. What did Parrish do?”

“The boy has been taken into protective custody until such time that you have claimed him. It is for his own good. It’s not safe to let someone who hasn’t been claimed out on his own. I assume you’ve claimed the other members of your team?” The advisor asked, the look on his face particularly indignant.

“Yes, Reed and Coughlin are claimed.” Evan shot a brief glance to where his other two team members were standing, still surrounded by guards. With any luck neither of them would say anything that would indicate otherwise. Evan was now grateful that his team was the one that had drawn this mission. If it had been Colonel Sheppard with Dr. McKay being dragged away, the Colonel would have shot the advisor by now, and probably the First for good measure.

The First nodded. “I’m surprised that you let the young one remain unclaimed for so long, he’s at least three cycles past when children are usually claimed. We will hold the ceremony at sunset. I will have you escorted to where he is being held so you will have time to cultivate the necessary spiritual connection before the ceremony.”

“Wait, what exactly is involved in this ceremony?” Evan asked as the group began moving, two of the guards nudging his arms with the ends of their guns.

The First saw Evan’s anxious glance back to Reed and Coughlin. “I will have your others placed in accommodations with the council until after the ceremony. They will be perfectly safe. Come along.”

Evan gave the remainder of the team a brief nod before allowing himself to be escorted in the direction that Parrish had been taken in only a few minutes earlier, all the while listening to the advisor explain what ‘claiming’ meant to the people of P5J-211.

*****

Reluctantly, Evan allowed himself to be led across the town square in the maroon ceremonial robe that he had been given. The council advisor had insisted on him changing and relinquishing his pack and his weapon; and with the number of rifles directed at him and the rest of his team and Parrish still in captivity, Evan hadn’t felt he had much of a choice. He had been allowed a brief moment to talk to Coughlin and Reed, the First offering him the opportunity to reassure his men that all was well. Evan had taken that opportunity to give strict orders about remembering that they were ‘claimed’, staying put, and not getting shot in a rescue attempt, no matter what happened to him and Parrish. The last order had gotten him a pair of wary glances, but they had simply offered a quick “yes sir” before Evan was taken away, the robe fluttering around his thighs.

As Evan and the guards walked, members of the village gathered around the edges of the square, all watching Evan with an intense interest. Though, Evan supposed, considering what he was going to be doing in front of all of them at sunset at little bit of interest wasn’t entirely unwarranted. He was, however, grateful that he’d gotten all of his embarrassed blushing out of the way during the advisor’s explanation as to how he was to ‘claim’ Parrish in front of the entire village. They reached the seclusion and meditation room relatively quickly, though it took everything in him to go against his training and let himself be locked inside; continually reminding himself what would happen to Parrish if he didn’t go along with this.

Evan felt his stomach drop as he saw Parrish crouched in the corner of the small room, his face pale and his arms wrapped defensively around his body. He was dressed in a thin, nearly translucent, white robe that made Evan immediately grateful for the slightly thicker fabric of his robe that he had felt almost indecent in only moments before. Parrish looked relieved to see Evan but the way his eyes anxiously flickered to Evan’s robe indicated that he realized that Evan wasn’t here to rescue him.

“You alright?” Evan asked, thankful that he had enough experience with the SGC to keep his voice from showing how not alright he was with the situation.

Parrish got to his feet, holding the front of this robe closed with one hand while he tugged the front down with the other. “Fine. They made me change,” he said, his voice trembling slightly.

In that moment, with Parrish’s eyes so wide and his shoulders hunched forward, Evan thought he could understand why the village council thought that Parrish was a teenager. With that thought Evan felt more ill than he had only moments prior and slumped against the wall. “They didn’t do anything else?” He forced himself to ask, rationalizing that as the team leader he needed to know.

Parrish shook his head and shifted uncomfortably. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have wandered so far.”

Evan shook his head and sat down on the floor, arranging his robe to cover himself as best he could. “Not your fault. Sometimes these things just happen. Colonel Sheppard’s team gets taken captive about every eighth mission, if the spreadsheet is accurate.” This had the effect that Evan was going for, Parrish’s lips quirking slightly at the corners and his shoulders relaxing a little.

Sitting down next to Evan, the room small enough that their knees were bumping together, Parrish pulled ineffectually at his robe again, his face coloring. “How long are they going to keep us here? Did the others manage to get away?”

Evan let his eyes flicker helplessly to the door and then to what passed as a window; a narrow slit near the top of the wall. The slit was the only source of light in the room. “How old are you, Parrish?” He asked, realizing that while the villagers may have provided him with a very specific description of what he was expected to do, Parrish didn’t have a clue.

“Twenty one,” Parrish said warily.

Evan nodded grimly. He was going to deflower a twenty one year old, just to get his team out of this stupid village. “How’d you manage to get to another galaxy by the time you could legally drink?”

Parrish stared at him for a long moment before turning and focusing his attention on a moldy spot on the wall. “I finished my bachelor’s degree when I was fifteen, my masters and my doctorate a little bit before I turned twenty. Then I was recruited into the SGC because the lead botanist had been sent my thesis on xeno-cross-pollination.”

He’d known Parrish was smart, all the people on Atlantis were smart; but hearing it recited off like that, like it was hardly an accomplishment at all, was almost painful to hear. “Family?” Evan asked.

“My dad.” Parrish ducked his head. “We’re going to die? Be executed?” His voice broke slightly as he asked.

“No!” Evan said quickly, realizing what his awkward attempt to get to know Parrish had sounded like. “No. They’re going to let us go a bit after sunset.”

“Just like that?” Parrish asks, sounding skeptical. “They’re just going to let us walk out of here when the sun sets?”

Evan sighed and rubbed his eyes vigorously. There was no easy way to explain to Parrish what was going to happen, but he couldn’t let him get dragged out there without any clue either. “What were you saying to them when they got upset and started pulling you away?” He finally asked, unable to think of a better way to broach the topic.

Unsurprisingly, Parrish blushed, turning away from Evan’s heavy gaze. “A teenager, the son of one of the farmers, asked if you were pleasant in bed. When I told him that things weren’t like that between us, he took off to find his father. The next thing I knew, a bunch of men are pulling me away, saying that it wasn’t safe for me to be out by myself.” Parrish shook his head helplessly. “I had no idea they’d react like that. I didn’t even understand what the kid was asking me at first.”

Evan swallowed hard. “Alright. There’s no good way to put this. At sundown, they expect me to claim you.” He paused, forcing himself to own up to what was about to happen to a member of his team. “To have sex with you. In front of the village. I explained to them that things aren’t like that where we’re from, that it’s taboo. I offered for all of us to go and never return. I even offered for them to seek reparations with our leader. Bottom line was that even if they let me, Coughlin, and Reed go, they’re keeping you here ‘safe’ until you’re claimed at sunset, whether it’s by me or by one of their council members. Even though their weapons are nowhere near as good as ours, we’re ridiculously outnumbered-”

“And there’s no way to get back to the ‘gate or contact Atlantis before sunset. And an armed conflict would wind up with all of us dead. I understand, Major. You don’t need to outline all the ways that this is unavoidable. I get it.” Parrish’s words were clipped and rushed.

They sat in silence for what felt like a long time. Evan was a little bit glad that Parrish seemed to understand why there was nothing he could do to get him out of this, that there wasn’t anything he could do. At the same time, he knew that Colonel Sheppard or General O’Neill would never let this happen to someone on their team, they would have never allowed things to get this far. Being rescued from life and death situations, which Lorne’s team routinely did for Sheppard’s, was understandable. It happened to pretty much every team at some point. Messing up a simple trade negotiation and winding up with one of his teammates about to be raped in front of an audience with no way to call for rescue was something that Evan doubted Sheppard would ever forgive him for. It wasn’t something that Evan would ever forgive himself for allowing to happen.

“I think I prefer the worlds that are just forests. Or plains. P1A-611 had this field right next to the Stargate, with all these flowers that had begun to cross-pollinate; seeds from all different planets had been dragged through on the shoes of people coming and going. All that new life, just from people walking on different planets.” Parrish sounded almost blank, like he was looking through the walls that surrounded them out into the forest that surrounded the village.

Evan closed his eyes and barely stopped himself from sighing. “Have you ever slept with a man, Parrish?”

“I think you can call me David if we’re going to be doing this. And no, I’m straight,” he said as he turned his head, but not really looking at Evan. “What about you?”

Evan paused, realizing that he should have expected to be asked the question in return.

“Look, Major, I have a right to know if at least one of us has any idea what we’re doing.” Parrish insisted, immediately sensing the problem. “I’m not going to tell anyone, I just want to know.”

“Call me Evan, then. I’ve had experience, with both genders,” Evan admitted carefully. “While we’re getting all the embarrassing details out of the way, are you clean?”

David looked at Evan, his brow furrowed slightly in uncertainty.

“Do you have any STD’s? I don’t think they’ve invented latex here yet.” Evan clarified, feeling even worse for having to ask.

David quickly shook his head, looking more than a little horrified. “I didn’t even think…Are you?”

“I’m clean.” Evan quickly reassured him. “The doctors run so many blood tests on Atlantis and at the SGC, if something was wrong with you you’d know almost immediately.”

They fell back into an uncomfortable silence, Evan unable to think of anything that he could say that would make David more comfortable.

“You don’t have to stay. You said they’d let you and the others go.” David said, meeting Evan’s eyes for the first time since Evan explained what was going to happen.

Evan blinked, straightening his back and staring at David. “You would rather it be one of the men from the council?”

David sighed and ran his hands through his hair, forgetting about holding his robe closed. “That’s not what I mean. I appreciate what you’re trying to do for me, but there’s no point in both of us going through this if it’s only me they want.”

Evan grimaced. “If you don’t mind, I’d rather they didn’t get their hands on you. Remember what I said about the lack of latex, and it doesn’t seem like their culture is really into monogamy either. Besides, I think whoever ‘claims’ you gets to keep you. I’d rather not have to make a return trip for a rescue mission if it’s at all possible.”

David nodded and turned back to looking at the wall.

“Thank you though. For what you were trying to do.” Evan offered, knowing that it wasn’t enough.

“There’s no way they could get here in time, even if they knew something was wrong. Even if Coughlin and Reed managed to get away, they wouldn’t even be near the ‘gate.” The way David spoke, it was longing to be a question, even if it didn’t quite make it.

Evan couldn’t bring himself to lie, to offer false hope that Sheppard would come in with guns blazing or with a Jumper ready to bomb the damned pedophiliac council if they didn’t release them immediately. “Atlantis can’t rescue us. But I’ll do whatever I have to in order to keep them from hurting you.” Evan knew it was a fairly pathetic promise, but it was the best he could do under the circumstances.

It was clear from the way the light rapidly disappeared from their cell that the sun had set. Evan caught one last glance of David’s face. David looked grim and more than a little frightened, his arms holding the thin robe against his body as tight as possible. Evan desperately wanted to reach out and tell David everything would be alright. That was part of his job as a team leader, to reassure his team members even when he knew that there was no hope.

The sound of footsteps walking on the planks outside their cell brought them both back to their immediate situation. Evan quickly got to his feet, knowing that he would have to restrain himself from attacking the guards that had been sent to retrieve them. David stood beside him in the dark and Evan stepped in between David and the door out of protective instincts that he couldn’t even begin to quell.

The door swung open, the First and his advisor directly outside with armed guards surrounding them. “We’re ready for the boy to take his place. We’ll return for you when it is time for the ceremony to begin.”

Reluctantly, Evan stepped aside enough for David to move forward, the light from a lantern one of the guards was carrying throwing shadows all over the cell. One of the guards reached forward and grabbed David’s arm, yanking him out of the room.

“Hey! Don’t touch him!” Evan shouted, lunging forward without thinking. The door slammed shut before he reached anyone and Evan slumped against it, breathing hard. He tried not to think of the many times he’d been in a jail cell off-world, having a member of his team, or a person that he was supposed to protect being dragged away with absolutely nothing he could do about it. He slumped against the wall opposite the door and tried not to think about how long it had already been since they’d dragged David away, whether they might decide that one of the council men should ‘claim’ him instead.

*****

In the nearly complete dark it was almost impossible to have any grasp of the passage of time. When he finally heard footsteps again he was halfway convinced that hours had passed when it probably hadn’t been more than fifteen minutes. Evan wiped his sweaty hands on the fabric of the robe and readied himself to fight to get to David if it became necessary. The door swung open and Evan found himself facing two of the council members that he hadn’t previously spoke to as well as a contingent of guards.

“You will be escorted to the arena. Your boy is waiting for you there.” They stood far enough back for Evan to exit without being grabbed and Evan allowed them to surround him as they walked past the edge of the village. The sun was on the very edge of the forest, filtering through the trees. The light that a guard carried allowed him to see the path they were following without stumbling.

“Your robe.” One of the council members held his hand out expectantly as they neared the end of the path, the lights of the village barely visible from the edge of the arena.

Biting his lip to prevent himself from lashing out, either physically or verbally, Evan slipped the robe off of his shoulders and handed it to the council member without a word. He forced his arms down by his side and his chin up, trying to convince himself this was no worse then an inspection by a drill sergeant. Their odd little procession started again, continuing around the arena in increasing darkness.

When they reached an archway, entering through what Evan realized was the stage entrance, he stumbled to a stop. The village, which had seemed fairly small when they first arrived, was now an impressively large and loud audience with over a hundred people sitting on tiered steps that wrapped around the stage. Crude reflectors with lanterns were set up around the edge of the stage, leaving most of the audience in the dark while the stage was brightly lit. One of the guards gave him a shove and Evan stumbled forward, his eyes transfixed on the crowd as he stepped up on the stage. Reed and Coughlin were sitting in the center of the front row, unarmed and surrounded by a group of soldiers. Evan could see they were both angry and horrified even from the distance and when he turned his head he realized why.

David Parrish was naked and buckled over some kind of wooden stand, bent over forward with his arms cuffed together stretched in front of him, a thick strap around his back, and his ankles buckled far apart, leaving all of his most vulnerable areas displayed for the public. Evan hadn’t even realized that he had stopped moving again until the guard gave him another shove.

The First moved forward to the center of the stage, his ever-present advisor hovering at his side. Evan was dragged by one of the guards until he was standing up next to the First. The First began to address the audience, gesticulating wildly. Evan didn’t hear a word the man said, his gaze transfixed on David and a terrible sick feeling building in his stomach. After the end of the First’s speech, the advisor thrust a wooden goblet into his hands, a viscous brown liquid sloshing inside.

“To encourage your performance,” the First stage-whispered, the barest impression of a smirk present on his face. “It’s part of the ceremony.”

Evan sighed and looked quickly back over to David before drinking from the cup, forcing the thick bitter liquid down his throat. The sooner this was over with the sooner that he could get David off the stage and all of them back to Atlantis.

“The time for claiming has begun.” The First announced. A hush fell over the audience as the First retreated to his pseudo-throne at the edge of the stage, his advisor trailing behind him.

Uncertainly, Evan stepped towards David, wanting nothing more than say that he couldn’t possibly do this and run from the arena. He took another step forward, and another, trying to convince himself he’d walked into worse situations than this. Into Hive ships, into Goa’uld strongholds, into villages that were occupied by the Ori. Somehow, he’d rather face down a Wraith Queen by himself than keep walking towards David. Looking down, he realized what the First had meant by the drink affecting his ‘performance’. He was rapidly growing hard, though the last thing from his thoughts was arousal or getting an erection.

Abruptly, Evan realized that he had stopped walking again, this time because he was standing directly behind David. He could hear David’s ragged breathing and a soft whimper that escaped every so often. “It’s okay, David. Just me. Just Evan,” he whispered, placing his hand hesitantly on David’s back. He continued to talk softly, keeping his touch light as he felt David’s breathing calm a little.

The advisor walked over to him, his long robes fluttering as he strode. “The First wishes to remind you that if you do not claim the boy, someone else will be selected in your place.”

Evan turned long enough to glare and growl, pushed to his limits of endurance. “Get away from us.”

The advisor skittered away and Evan reluctantly reached down to the small bowl that had been placed near the stand. He dipped his fingers into the small amount of clear gel and rubbed it around, grateful that they had at least provided some kind of lubricant. Keeping one steadying hand on David’s back he began to carefully rubbing lube around his opening, slipping just the tip of his finger inside. “David, I know this is difficult, but you’ve got to relax a little. I don’t want to hurt you.”

David whimpered but Evan felt him try to comply. When things were as good as they were going to get, Evan coated himself with a generous amount of lube and lined himself up with David’s entrance. “I’m sorry,” he said as he pushed in as gently as he could. He put one hand on the edge of the stand to steady himself and placed another on David’s back, trying to be as comforting as possible. He let himself hit a steady rhythm, slow and gentle and shut his eyes as he listened to David’s choked sobs.

Just at the edge of his awareness he could hear the restless shuffling of the audience; a group of people that large was never entirely silent. Evan imagined that he could feel them staring, the muscles in his shoulders and back tightening in response. He opened his eyes and kept all his focus on David and on getting them out of the arena as soon as possible.

After what seemed like an awful eternity, Evan felt himself coming close to finishing and let his hips take control of the last few thrusts. He ejaculated, locking his knees so that he wouldn’t lose his balance. Carefully he pulled himself out, wishing desperately for something to wipe himself and David clean with. Knowing that he would lose his nerve if he looked away from David, he moved forward so that he was standing to David’s side in order to complete the last part of the ceremony. The First had been very specific in his instructions; the claiming ceremony was not complete until he had been brought to completion within David, and then he was to bring David to fruition.

Evan kept his gaze firmly on the ground as he focused on his hand wrapped around David’s nearly completely flaccid penis. He stroked David gently but firmly, hoping that David’s willpower to ‘perform’ without drugs was stronger than his own. Slowly, he began to grow hard in Evan’s hand.

David struggled against his bindings for the first time in Evan’s presence. He pulled frantically against the wrist and back restraints and Evan placed his hand back on David’s back to keep him from hurting himself. “Just this last thing, then we can go back to Atlantis. I promise,” Evan whispered, continuing to stroke David.

After a few more seconds of struggling, David went limp again, his head dropping down against his arms in defeat.

The sick feeling in Evan’s stomach increased in intensity and he looked away from David, his gaze falling to where the First and his advisor were sitting, both of them staring transfixed at David. Evan glared with all guilt and hate that had been building up since the whole fiasco had began, wanting nothing more than to return to this village with a nuke and save the Pegasus galaxy from these people. Surely they constituted enough of a threat for Colonel Sheppard to agree to part with just one bomb.

Evan looked back down as he felt David ejaculate, his body jerking with the force of it even within the restraints. Without waiting for permission from the First, Evan bent down and began unbuckling the straps around his ankles, setting David’s feet under him before starting on the back and wrist restraints. As he helped David to his feet, noticing the marks around his ankles and wrists where he had pulled against the cuffs, he was grateful that he had kept his back to the main audience the entire time. He wasn’t sure that he could even look at Coughlin and Reed at the moment, and from the way that David’s shoulders were hunched and he was nearly cowering against Evan, he was sure that David felt the same way.

The First had been addressing the audience but turned to them as they made to leave the stage. “That was a very satisfactory performance.” Seeing Evan’s glare, he hastily continued speaking. “Your clothing is in a room at the back of the arena and we’ve set up accommodations for you and your men for the night.”

“That’s quite alright. We’ll be leaving shortly.” Evan said, his voice barely contained as he guided David toward the room that the First had indicated.

“You don’t mean to walk through the forest in the dark?” The advisor asked indignantly.

“Yes we do. Have my other men here when we return, and give them back their weapons.” Evan opened the door and checked that the room was empty before he let David inside. He closed the door with what was very nearly a slam.

David jumped and turned to look at him, his eyes wide, eyelashes wet and spiky, and his face dirty and smudged. He wrapped his arms around his chest uncomfortably and quickly looked away.

Evan sighed and went to the wash basin, wetting down a cloth and passing it to David before wetting one for himself. He didn’t have any idea what to say to David; there wasn’t anything in his experience that was even remotely close enough to be able to hazard a guess. He turned his back as he wiped himself off and got dressed, the necessity for modesty long since past, but he figured that David would want as much privacy as possible. Evan knew that he would if their positions were reversed. He picked up his sidearm and checked that it hadn’t been tampered with and did the same with his P-90.

When he heard David finish moving around he chanced a glance back and found David, washed and dressed, staring miserably at the floor.

“Ready to go back to Atlantis?” He asked helplessly.

“Yeah.” David said, his voice hardly more than a whisper.

Evan left the room, hyperaware of David following him closely. They almost immediately found Reed and Coughlin waiting for them, Reed clutching his gun tightly and Coughlin unable to meet Lorne’s eyes. “We’re going back to Atlantis.” He informed them, pulling a flashlight from his pack and handing it to David. Reed and Coughlin already had their flashlights out, illuminating the ground beneath them. “Let's go.”

They started down the path towards the ‘gate, walking past the outskirts of the village without looking back. It was a testament to how badly they all wanted off the planet that no one voiced a word of complaint about a five hour walk after their already long day. No one said anything at all on the hike back to the ‘gate.

*****

When they reached they ‘gate Evan dialed without looking towards his men. It was past midnight on Atlantis, even after adjusting for the twenty eight hour cycle that Atlantis functioned on. He knew that they weren’t expected until afternoon the next day at the earliest and an unscheduled activation would send the security teams racing into position but some things couldn’t be helped. A quick glance back as he entered his IDC confirmed his belief that they needed to be back on Atlantis now, David was looking at the ‘gate almost like he was hypnotized or drugged, his shoulders and back rigid.

His radio crackled to life, Doctor Weir’s voice coming through unexpectedly loud. “Major Lorne, we weren’t expecting to hear from you quite so soon.”

Evan repressed a sigh. He hadn’t been expecting Doctor Weir to still be awake. “Yes, ma’am. Things didn’t go exactly as planned.”

“How can we assist you, Major?” Colonel Sheppard responded.

Evan grimaced, keeping his gaze focused on the wormhole. “We’d just like to return to Atlantis, sir.” He had a brief moment where he imagined Sheppard telling them that he wouldn’t let them back through without a trade agreement, which he quickly chalked up to a sleep-deprived fantasy.

“The shield is down, Major. Come on home.” Sheppard replied, sounding a little more concerned than he had just moments earlier.

“Copy that, sir.” He motioned Reed and Coughlin through the ‘gate, not willing to leave anything to chance on this planet.

David watched as Reed and Coughlin disappeared and turned to stare at Evan for a moment. He opened his mouth as though he wanted to say something, but eventually gave up and just shook his head, walking through the ‘gate without looking back at Evan.

Evan closed his eyes and walked through the ‘gate, grateful for the moment of peaceful near-nonexistence before he had to face Colonel Sheppard and Doctor Weir.

Stepping out into Atlantis was the biggest moment of relief he’d had all day, despite Sheppard and Weir hurrying down the steps to meet his team. He could see them assessing his team, trying to determine what exactly had gone wrong and how much danger the city could be in because of it. Evan knew because he had done the same assessment on returning teams, both in Atlantis and at the SGC. It was always worst when a team member had been killed or lost, the long moments between when the first member of the team stepped through the ‘gate and when the ‘gate shut down, the team looking unbalanced without all their members.

A brief glance towards the rest of his own team told him that they didn’t look so great either; Reed and Coughlin looking at Colonel Sheppard like he was a potential enemy, David pale and drawn, his gaze flickering around the room like something might jump out at him. Evan was sure he didn’t actually look a whole lot better.

“Major?” Sheppard asked staying a few steps away, keeping Doctor Weir a step back and out of the line of fire.

“Sir. I’d like to take my team to the infirmary. I can come debrief after I’ve been cleared,” Evan said. He was grateful that his voice came out clear and steady.

Sheppard nodded, hearing at least some of what Evan hadn’t said. “Of course. Does your team need an escort?”

Evan shook his head. “No, sir.”

“My office when you’re available, Major Lorne.” Elizabeth was giving him her best diplomatic face, the one that meant that she was pretty alarmed but not showing it.

“Yes, ma’am.” Evan gave them both a nod, trying to convince himself that they were passing for normal and motioned his team to follow him. His team passed their P-90’s off to the marines who stood at the edges of the ‘gate room. Their questioning gazes followed them as they left the room, Evan cursing the speed that gossip traveled through small postings like Atlantis. By tomorrow morning most of the marines would know about their unexplained early return. Most of the scientist would have already put bets into a pool on what had happened, except for the ones busy attempting to hack into the server to find out for themselves.

The trip to the infirmary was uneventful, the halls completely empty at the late – no, early – hour. The sound of their footsteps caused the doctor on call to look up from his computer. Doctor Beckett looked weary but smiled at them nevertheless. Sometimes Evan wondered if any of the senior staff on Atlantis slept at all.

“What can I do for you gents?” Beckett asked, getting to his feet.

“Can I speak with you Doc, in private?” Evan asked.

Beckett made the same assessing glance that Sheppard and Weir had in the gate room. “Of course. I’ll be with you other lads in a moment.”

“Stay here.” Evan instructed, mostly to Reed and Coughlin, inclining his head ever so slightly towards David.

Evan followed Beckett into one of the private exam rooms and shut the door firmly behind them.

“What’s the trouble, Major?” Beckett asked, full of concern.

The words got stuck in Evan’s throat and he dropped down into one of the chairs as his mind provided flashes of what had happened only a few hours early. He swallowed hard, trying to pull himself together to tell the Doc enough to know how to treat David. That was why he had come all the way down here, to get David help, not to fall apart. That had to wait until later, until after he had been debriefed at the very least.

“Major?” Beckett was leaning forward, reaching for Evan’s wrist to take his pulse.

Evan pulled away, rising from his chair and turning so that he wasn’t facing the doctor. “You need to take care of David-” he paused, forcing his thoughts into some semblance of order, “of Doctor Parrish. He was taken captive while we were on P5J-211. The local government insisted that someone have sex with him.”

“He was raped?” Beckett asked gently when Evan paused.

“Yes. I did it so that they would release him to us afterward. There was nothing we could do…” Evan trailed off when he saw Beckett’s horrified expression. It was only there for a moment before he managed to pull himself back into the mask of a concerned doctor speaking with a patient but Evan knew what he had seen, the disgust aimed at him. “I just thought you should know what to look for when you examined him,” Evan said, swallowing hard and moving to leave.

“Lad, you’ll need an exam too,” Beckett said softly.

Evan shook his head. “Tomorrow. I need to go debrief with Doctor Weir and Colonel Sheppard. Just take care of Doctor Parrish.” He left the small exam room, the feeling that it was too closed in, that he was standing too close to Beckett, slowly becoming overwhelming.

David Parrish looked up at him as he walked towards them, looking more than a little unsteady. “Major-” he said uncertainly.

“Doctor Beckett is going to take care of you. I told him what he needs to know.” Evan cut Parrish off, unable to stand recriminations at that particular moment. Later he would let Parrish vent and be angry at him, right now he had to go debrief and get everything squared away.

Parrish gave Evan one last look before letting Doctor Beckett escort him into the private exam room.

Evan turned to Reed and Coughlin, forcing himself to look at them both directly. “You’ll submit your mission reports directly to me. I’m classifying this mission as need to know. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.” They both said quickly. Reed gave him a particularly understanding look.

“Dismissed.” He let them believe that he didn’t want Atlantis at large to know because of DADT, or because it would start rumors about him. Really, he figured that Parrish didn’t need the looks of contempt or disgust and if that was all he could do to protect Parrish, that’s what he would do.

Evan dragged himself back through the quiet halls of Atlantis and up to Doctor Weir’s office, half wondering if he could enlist Doctor McKay to find a time machine somewhere on Atlantis so that he could delete P5J-211 from the dialing computer before this day ever happened.

*****

Five days had passed since Evan's team had returned from their mission. Evan had spent most of that time hiding out in the storage rooms powering through the monthly inventory. Colonel Sheppard had put Evan’s team on stand down after hearing his debrief, saying that all teams needed a break from going off-world every now and then. Usually Evan fought being put on stand down, just as he had after they had lost Stevens and Walker. In that particular instance, the Colonel had been busy turning back into a human and Doctor Weir hadn’t fought Evan too hard on letting his now smaller team continue on, borrowing scientists and engineers as missions required. But right now Evan wasn’t too keen on going off-world again right away. Maybe it meant that he was losing his will to be a soldier in a galaxy far, far away. Somehow, he wasn’t too worried about it. If Sheppard could keep going through the ‘gate after the nearly countless number of times he’d been captured, tortured, nearly killed, and/or turned into a bug, Evan could too. He just needed a few days to regain his bearings first.

He hadn’t seen Parrish since he’d left him in the infirmary that night, and surprisingly rumors hadn’t immediately started circulating about them. He figured that meant that Sheppard and Weir had classified the reports and ordered the marines in the ‘gate room not to say anything. Evan finished counting the number of ammunition rounds for M9s and made a note to have another couple of crates sent out on the Daedalus. As he was pushing the last crate back onto a shelf, he heard the door swing shut. He’d gotten in the habit of leaving the door open whenever he was in small rooms. If he didn’t know better he would think he’d given himself a mild case of claustrophobia being stuck in that room with Parrish. In reality the room they’d been locked in hadn’t been that small, but whenever Evan thought about it he remembered his knees pressing against Parrish and their shoulders brushing together through their thin robes.

“Sir.” Evan stood up straight as Sheppard walked down his aisle.

“At ease, Major.” Sheppard leaned casually against the shelves, looking over the list on the tablet computer that Evan had entering the inventory on. “So, I’ve been thinking about your team.”

“My team?” Evan asked uncertainly. As good a CO as Sheppard was, his unconventional way of handling almost every situation sometimes left Evan floundering. Most CO’s would have pushed a stack of files at him months ago and told him to choose a fourth team member, or simply told him who was going to be on his team. Instead of holding conversations in his office, though in all honesty Evan wasn’t even sure Sheppard knew where his office was, Sheppard would wander in while Evan was sitting in the mess hall or putting men through drills and gave him orders in the form of suggestions and ideas.

Sheppard nodded mock-thoughtfully. “Most teams, at least here on Atlantis, have four or five members. Now, I may be a little biased, but I have come to believe that the teams that work the best, like SG-1 or my team, have four members. Considering the amount of trouble that your team has been getting in lately, I think it’s clear that you need a fourth member. I’m partial to having a physicist or an engineer along, to compliment the military aspects, but some teams find that having a member of the soft sciences division works as well.”

Evan blinked, still not sure where exactly Sheppard was going with this. “But your team and SG1 get in more trouble off-world than just about anyone.”

“There is that. But we always come back,” Sheppard said, nodding sagely. “I’ve looked over the records of the available scientists that we have who are cleared to go off-world-”

Evan quirked his eyebrows at the idea of Sheppard actually sitting still enough to look through any type of files or records.

Sheppard smiled, aware of Evan’s disbelief, but continued speaking, “and I think Doctor David Parrish would be a perfect permanent addition to your team.”

Only years of being in the military gave Evan the discipline to not simply drop his jaw and stare, and really it was the years of ‘gate experience and hearing much weirder things that counted. “With all due respect, sir, but are you insane?”

Sheppard was no longer smiling, but not because of Evan’s question. “He’s a good fit for your team and you’ve been off-world together several times. What’s the problem?”

“I doubt Doctor Parrish even wants to be in the same room as me, let alone trusting me to take him off-world.” Evan made a conscious effort to relax his fists. He really didn’t want to be tossed in the brig for punching his CO.

“I think you’d be surprised. I’m certain that Doctor Parrish knows that what happened wasn’t your fault, you did the right thing,” Sheppard said, not backing down.

Evan shook his head firmly. “My team. My responsibility for what happens out there.”

“Exactly. Your team. You better go let Doctor Parrish know that I’ve scheduled a mission for you next week.” Sheppard turned to leave.

“If he objects to this I won’t force him to be on my team.” Evan called out, more than a little angry with Sheppard making him do this. Although Sheppard rarely felt the need to give out direct orders, he still expected his men to do what he said.

Sheppard paused in the doorway. “If he objects, tell him to come see me.”

The way that he propped the door open again let Evan knew that Sheppard was watching him far more closely than Evan had realized. He sighed and realized that Sheppard had also taken the tablet that he had been entering inventory on, leaving him no excuse to not go talk to Doctor Parrish. Sometimes, Evan thought he preferred the more typical military command style. Some of his former CO’s may have been bastards, but at least they were upfront about it.

*****

It was lunch time by the time Evan made his way out to the botany labs. Evan was almost hoping that he had missed Parrish and would be forced to walk back into the main part of the city to find him, if only to delay the inevitable conversation. He poked his head into the main lab but didn’t see Parrish. Evan almost left right then, but he heard sounds drifting in from one of the back gardens and knew that he had to investigate so he could at least say that he had tried to talk to him. The air in the green house was warm and moist and Evan felt himself begin to sweat almost immediately.

A computer sat on one of the worktables, music filtering out into the jungle atmosphere. Evan followed the path and the sound of a voice singing along, not quite in tune but strong and clear in comparison to the voice coming from the tiny speakers. He paused for a moment as he came upon where Parrish was working. Parrish was down on his knees in the dirt, digging up roots and pulling out dead overgrowth. “Doctor Parrish,” Evan said, keeping his voice low in hopes of not startling him.

Parrish immediately swung around, a small shovel clutched in one of his hands. He relaxed a little when he saw that it was Evan, dropping the shovel and getting to his feet. He made a brief attempt at brushing the dirt off his pants but quickly gave up when he saw it was a lost cause. “Major. What brings you all the way out here?”

“I came to ask if you wanted to be on my team.” He winced as he realized that he probably should have at least asked if Parrish was alright before he asked him to be on his team. “Parrish, I understand if you don’t want to, and of course you don’t so I will go tell Colonel Sheppard to mind his own business.” Not that he could imagine phrasing it that way exactly.

“Evan, wait. I want to be on your team.” Parrish stepped out onto the path. “I probably should have talked to you before now, but I wasn't really sure you wanted to see me.”

Evan stared, caught somewhere between anger and disbelief. “You want to be on my team after what I did to you? Parrish, I raped you. Don't you get that?”

“You didn’t rape me – you kept me from being raped by some creepy diseased alien.” Parrish sighed as he folded his arms and turned away. “I'm not saying that everything is okay, or that I'm fine with what happened. But it wasn't your fault.”

“It is. I should have found a different way to get you out of there. A way that didn't involve...” Evan waved his hand a little, not even sure what he was trying to say. “It's my responsibility to keep my team safe-”

“That's right. And you did.” Parrish stopped, his voice shaking a little. “I keep telling myself that there wasn't anything else you could have done, because that's the truth. And you did a lot more than anyone could have expected. I don’t know for sure that any other team leader would do that. But I do know that you will. So tell Colonel Sheppard that I’ll be joining your team.”

Evan shook his head. “I can't let you do that.”

“If the idea of me being on your team makes you uncomfortable, maybe you should talk to Heightmeyer. But if you don't want me on your team because you're worried that I can't handle whatever is out there, then don't. I'm handling it, better than you, I think.” Parrish met Evan's gaze firmly.

“Okay,” Evan said after a long moment.

“Okay?” Parrish asked, clearly uncertain with what Evan was agreeing to.

“Okay, you're on my team,” Evan said simply before sitting down onto one of the low garden walls.

David seemed a little shaken, a near match for Evan’s rather labored breathing. “Are you alright?” David asked.

“Yeah.” Evan's voice shook more than he could account for.

“Evan, it wasn't just me out there. It was you too,” David said gently, sitting down next to Evan.

Taking a few calming breaths, Evan stared out into the gardens, seeing where David had pulled up the dead plants that the Ancients had left behind and planted new seedlings and into the distance where the giant dead plants still tumbled over the paths and tangled together. “Yeah,” he said again before leaning back and looking up through the clear roof to the sky. “I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> This fic and others can also be found at my Dreamwidth fandom journal: [Responsibility](http://welfycat.dreamwidth.org/3197.html)


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